prayer in the (very) early morning

Psalm 63 says: On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. I've had a couple nights being awake from 2am til 6am with one or other of my daughters being sick. There's something about sitting on a bed, with a poorly child, before even the birds have started to sing - there's something about the dark just before sunrise (and when you've been awake for way too long) that makes you pray! And God feels close.....

but in the cold light of day when you're faced with all the washing (again) and you're really really tired, disappointment with God sneaks in. It creeps around the corners of your mind, reminding you that you prayed for the sickness to stop (and it didn't for another 2 hours), you prayed that no-one else would get sick - but they did. And then all of the other unanswered prayers crowd in: that prayer for healing that didn't work, that prayer for salvation, that invitation to Alpha, that person you thought might come to church going somewhere else (or nowhere else) they all sneak in too. And my heart grows heavy with disappointment - it seems that instead of the midas touch it's the failure touch - where eveything and everyone turns away from God & his body the church. 

How about this quote from Mark Batterson's book - Wild Goose Chase: "When our plans fail the temptation is not only to give up on our dreams, but also to give up on God and ourselves...But sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is to just hang in there ...and try to enjoy the journey."

We need to cherish our walk with God, the good times and the bad times, the watches of the night when we really would rather be asleep and the nerve wracking thrill times of stepping out in faith and seeing God act. Maybe God's plan is that the church never grows beyond 50(but I doubt it) maybe God's call is simply to be salt and light where I am - no matter the cost, no matter that there is no obvious reward or tangible "success" maybe just maybe there is pleasure in obedience. There is joy in the joy....My delight is in the Lord in fact as Isaiah says: I delight greatly in the Lord;

    my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
    and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness.

Denise Townsend
Life is worth sharing

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